HEART, BREAK WITH MITCH & MEGAN VAUGHAN // S03E10

After a miscarriage following the birth of their first child, photographers Mitch and Megan Vaughan built a greenhouse. That’s the one-liner, but their story goes a lot deeper, with a whole lot more God in it. This week, we’re talking about heartbreak and God’s methods in that madness.

When we designated this episode’s drop date as December 2nd, we didn’t know that was Baby M’s birthday. Baby M—Mitch and Megan’s second child—is still blessing others despite being in Heaven. We’re incredibly humbled and honored to be used for this purpose. This episode is dedicated to Baby M.

Learn more about the Vaughan House Greenhouse | Connect with Mitch, Megan, their business, and their greenhouse on Instagram. |

VERSES FROM HEART, BREAK WITH MITCH & MEGAN VAUGHAN

Romans 8:37-39, Proverbs 4:22-23, Jeremiah 29:11

QUOTES FROM HEART, BREAK WITH MITCH & MEGAN VAUGHAN

There was just something in me and I can even us sitting on the bed together and, you know, it was, I think it was the day or the day after. And in a puddle of tears, the only thing I could say or think of in that moment was: God will bring good out of this. I have no earthly idea how—period. And I had no idea how, but I firmly believe God will absolutely make something amazing out of this.

Mitch Vaughan, The Pantry Podcast, Heart, Break

Because those things were said to me, and I didn’t want to hear it, but I think understanding that there will be things that are said to you that are said out of love and comfort that you’re going to want to deny. You’re not going to want to hear it. You’re going to want to tell them, “Just leave me alone, let me curl up in a ball.” And, you know, in the grand scheme of things, like, take that time, like you’re gonna, you’re probably gonna need it, but, but don’t stay there.

Megan Vaughan, The Pantry Podcast, Heart, Break

I like how in the midst it feels impossible and then you ride this storm out, right? And all of a sudden you play it in the right court, you play it in the Kingdom Court, right? And you say, “You know what, we’re going to be equally yoked, but first we’re going to yoke to Jesus.” And that way we can sit here and be equally yoked to one another and stand strong for one another.

Shea Watson, The Pantry Podcast, Heart, Break

You need the word in you before the hard time comes and then that you had to wait for it to warm up before you sealed it. And how often is it that we don’t feel battle-tested until we’ve healed, but then once we’ve healed, once we’ve warmed back up and defrosted our heart from whatever pain had happened, then he can seal it in us. All those lessons learned are now sealed and preserved, and now they’re battle-tested and weathered for the next time we can’t write it. Like you said, we can not predict it, but the lessons he gives us are just so rich. And multi-layer just like the Bible itself is you had to actually go and get somebody to dig into that, into that hard ground. And that’s what we have to do with Jesus.

Michelle Watson, The Pantry Podcast, Heart, Break

Annotated Transcript

Shea: Hi, it’s awesome to be here today.

Michelle: Yeah, I’m excited.

Shea: There were some tech difficulties today, but we overcame. Thank you, Lord. I was over here praying by the way. Yes. And we worked it out, but today we have an awesome show. We’re gonna be talking about Heart, Break and we have a beautiful couple on today that is going to share their story.

Michelle: Yeah. So we have the awesome opportunity to talk to Mitch and Megan Vaughan. And if you’re all over Instagram like me, you might have spotted their gorgeous greenhouse—the Vaughn House Greenhouse. It’s located in Lynchburg, Virginia. They’re also a full-time photography/videography couple for weddings, but you probably know them best for that beautiful patch of land that they built themselves. And it’s been awesome to follow along with them on Facebook and Instagram for a couple of years.

And in that time I was reading about the things that they were going through and how they were putting God first, bringing Him glory, giving Him credit the whole time. And so when we started this podcast, I was like, we need to find a way to get them on. And this season, I think is the perfect season where we’re talking about worship being our warship and the battles that come our way. So without any further ado, welcome Mitch and Megan.

Mitch Vaughan & Megan Vaughan: Hey!

Michelle: It’s really good to get you on, got through all the glitches, which I know we’ll drive down there. We’ll make this happen. look, you guys are for me an inspiration. I think reading all those things back when I was an early believer is what I needed to read. And we’d love for you to kind of share a little bit of your story, just so people kind of understand how you came to where you are now.

Megan Vaughan: You want to go? You can go. You can go a little bit better than I do.

Megan Vaughan: Okay. I mentioned, we have known each other for almost 20 years. We met when he was 14 and I was 17. Yes. I’ve heard all the older woman jokes over it. We were best friends for three years and we dated for five years and we’ve been married for nine years. So we’ve known each other for a really long time. And then in that time, like we’d never had plants. Didn’t care about plants. Couldn’t keep a fake plant alive, just wasn’t going to happen. Then we miscarried after our son. And from that, it just led to everything that’s in our backyard right now.

One of my really good friends, Sarah, brought me a pot of daffodils. They were so happy and alive and I had control over keeping them alive. And it’s not something that I had control over with losing the baby. So it sparked this plant obsession, and I just wanted more and more and more and more. And with each negative test, that was my coping mechanism was to just go buy plants. Because it was just all things that I can keep alive. I woke up one morning and I went into the kitchen and I told Mitch, I, I want to build a greenhouse. And he’s like, “What? Okay.”

And so we spent a really long time planning where in the yard did we want to put it because, you know, with photography, I wanted the light to be right with it. And how do we want it angled with where the sun is? So we sat down at his parents’ house and just kind of sketched it on the iPad, just kind of what we wanted it to look like. And it took seven months to build. Mitch built the entire thing by himself, all that while we were trying to get pregnant again, and it was just negative tests, negative tests, negative tests, more plants, more plants, more plants, everything that led up to the day that the greenhouse was completed. The day the last screw went in is when we found out we were pregnant with our daughter.

Michelle: Wow.

Megan Vaughan: So, and it was just like, how can you not see God in that? It’s just, there were so many other little things. Like the day we lost the baby, there was a double there’s a storm cut because of course there was a double rainbow in the sky. And then the day it was completed, there was a double rainbow and the same spot. And just like, it’s a very bittersweet thing. Cause like, of course we want, we would want that baby, like, of course. But then it’s like, had we not lost that baby? And like went through the trial that God was showing us and come out the other side and totally see why it happened. If we had, if we hadn’t suffered that the greenhouse wouldn’t be there, we wouldn’t have our daughter. And just all the other people that we’ve been able to serve with it, that opportunity wouldn’t have been there either.

Shea: I love that fact when I was watching The 700 Club—yeah. I’m a stalker—and I love, I love how prayer became a portion and this is more to Mitch than it is because he comes on and he says, yeah, I just, I just kept telling her, we gotta pray. Right. We gotta pray. So I like to dig deep. I like to get into this because this, this takes us to God’s love, you know, like when we look at Romans 8:37-39, right? It says,

“that in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loves us for, I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creative things shall separate us from that love of God.”

And so when I, when I think of this and I hear that, you know, you’re taking on that, that from what I get from The 700 Club. Okay. And this is just me not, but I do see this because in a man’s, it’s a, it’s a man’s job in a house to be a spiritual leader. When the storms come, we’re supposed to stand up and say, Hey, look, we got to pray. So in those moments, Mitch, what, what was going through your head, seeing your wife, suffering, seeing your wife going through pain, you’re going through pain. We never want to forget that, you know, husbands and wives are in this together. So what was going on in your, in your mind during all of that and how were you keeping your foundation with Christ?

Mitch Vaughan: Yeah, I think it, it goes into a lot of how a guy would process the situation versus how she processed it. And it just, my, my background and how I think, how I do things is always very methodical, logical. There’s a problem. I need a solution for it. And this was one of those situations to where there, there really was no solution. There was nothing that I could physically do to help Megan get, get through what she was going. There was no way I was going to be able to relate on an emotional level, what she was going through by any stretch of the imagination. And so as, as her husband and trying to figure out what I should do when she came, I want to build a greenhouse, like typically my first response to things like that. Is that okay? Okay. Sounds sounds good. All right. Let’s talk about this another time. And then we’ll, maybe we’ll get on it, you know, in a year or two.

But like, for some reason it was like, okay. Yeah. Let’s, let’s figure out, let’s, let’s do this. Let’s start sketching. Let’s start figuring out what we can do to make this happen. Because there was something in me that basically said, this is something you can do to help her process through. And so in, you know, an aspect of her life, you know, again, as you mentioned, it’s one of those things that in, in the midst of the storm, like you, you never can see the sunny sky. You can never see the promise that comes at the end of it when you’re in the middle of it. But whenever you’re past it and look back and see all that rain was able to water.

So many seeds that were planted to get us to where we are now, prayer played. It was everything was everything. Because at the end of the day, like there’s nothing we can do. I can build a greenhouse. She can buy plants to, but without the prayer and the relationship that we have through Christ, like where was our comfort going to be in the, in the first place? And so, without that, and without the prayer, without the relationship, I don’t know how we would have been able to get through the situation that we did. I love that conquering, you know, in the storm. And that’s that love of Jesus Christ.

Michelle: In Proverbs 4:22-23, it says, “My son be attentive to my words, incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight. Keep them within your heart for they are life to those who find them in healing to all their flesh.”

That we’ve all been there to varying degrees at different times, bombarded by the pain. Like you said, like you can’t see the sun and you almost don’t want to hear that there’s sun. You don’t want to hear, there’s a promise. You’re like, I don’t care about that. Promise. I cared about the thing that this storm ruined. You know, I don’t care about the sunny day coming up, but yet when we have a foundation in God’s word before the storm comes, because the last thing you want to hear in the storm sometimes is the word. Sometimes you cling to certain verses, but maybe not the verses you need to hear because you’re in that sore pain place.

But if you have the words already stored up in your heart, then God can bring them up to the surface in those moments where you’re your most vulnerable. You don’t have to be in front of a Bible in that moment because it’s already there. So putting that soil work in to kind of keep with the plant theme, you know, like, you know, you can’t keep growing things in the same field repeatedly without giving the soil a break. If you replenish the soil, even when you’re doing well, then in those hard times, there’s something in the soil that you can draw from, even though you don’t have the energy to neutralize the sore soil at that time,

Megan Vaughn: My life verse has always been Jeremiah 29:11. I’ve always found comfort in it. And even in the midst of all the pain, I mean, I knew that verse was there and I wanted so badly to have it be comforting, but there is just, it just wasn’t right. Like I believed it, I understood it, but it’s like, I just don’t want, I just want to hurt right now. But then, you know, as time goes on, like, you’re like, okay, I really get it. And then of course you hear songs that you feel like are, you know, written for you. I mean, even to this day, there’s a, there’s a site. Can’t listen to it. If it comes, if it comes on and like, I can’t change it. And then there’s the other song who sings it is it, I am Bay scars now on the other side of it, I’m like, clearly that was written for me. Like I understand like every word of that song is exactly how I feel about the greenhouse.

Mitch Vaughn: I was going to say, I think even for me, there wasn’t necessarily like a verse. There was just something in me and I can even us sitting on the bed together and, you know, it was, I think it was the day or the day after. And, um, you know, in a puddle of tears, but like the only thing I could say or think of in that moment was God will bring good out of this. I have no earthly idea how period. And I had no idea how, but like I S I firmly believe God will absolutely make something amazing out of this. And, you know, we’re four years later, three years later, and three, three, four, it’ll be four, almost four years. Um, and looking back on it now, like we never intended, you know, to build the greenhouse, to be what it is today.

Like we built it, you know, essentially for our own personal reasons of like having a place to, for her to, to have plants, to nurture plants, to just kind of be her own space. And in that, it, it kind of changed her life. And then we’ve had people come over with their own struggles and their own, um, you know, storms that they’re going through and they’ll come to the greenhouse and they’ll just like, have this amazing sense of peace while they’re there. And then it just like, as it kept progressing, like this storm that we had gone through that we’ve created this greenhouse is now turning into something that God has been using for other people to come and get through their storms up to the point. Now it’s like, people are now starting their, their lives together in this place where we lost one, God has now taken it to where he’s now creating amen life, so to speak new relationship. And so to me, to be able to sit back and look at it now, like blows my mind, but in the midst of it, like that was the only thing I can go back to is God will find a way.

Shea: I like how in the midst it feels impossible. And then you, and then you ride this storm out, right? And all of a sudden, you know, you, you play it in the right court, you play it in the Kingdom Court, right. And you say, you know what, we’re going to be equally yoked, but first we’re going to yoke to Jesus. And that way we can sit here and be equally yoked to one another and be stand, stand strong for one another. And then all of a sudden, a few years later go by and you see this provision. And it’s like, it made me think of like, when you were going to home Depot and when you’re going to Lowe’s and I love this idea that that’s where you went after a creativeness, she would walk through the plant Isles and she’d be running her fingers across their leaves, waiting for one to call out to her. There are far worse things a person could do, but you know, it’s beautiful that you found, right. It’s beautiful that you found something that you could apply your focus to. And, but also knowing that was working and you, and you didn’t know the directions like plans, I can never grow a plant. You know, what, what is this? I mean, I got, if you looked over here to the left, man, there’s like, there’s 900 succulents that sit over here. Cause she can grow them

Megan Vaughan: Because you probably just ignore them. That’s how succulents work!

Michelle: Right!

Shea: But, but I like that in this storm though, that there was a shift, you know, through this build a man’s heart plans, his ways. Right. But the Lord directs and establishes his steps and you guys, it came in, we build a greenhouse, I mean, okay. But build a greenhouse we’re photographers all the way planned, you know, that’s God, he plans, he, he designs, he puts it in order the fingerprints in the wood, the, the sweat and the blood, right. That you guys put into this, each pane of glass individually put in it’s it’s so orderly. Like our God is. Yeah.

Mitch Vaughn: And then when the last group goes in, He’s like here, listen to me, children just do this, do the trust me. And that last screw goes in and bam pregnancy,

Megan Vaughn: It’s still so mind-blowing. And it’s just like, I mean, all the good weather days, the bad weather days, we had to save up for, for a design change and seven months. And He was working. I just, did you just cry? Just transitioned to go, to go full time. I’m doing photo videos. I had an engineering position before I transferred to do the photo video team full time. And, um, and so it was outside every day, snow rain, like it was, it was built in the winter months. And so like we had, it was, everything was very weather dependent. You know, the ground is like rock solid for the main beams, like before the first snow or otherwise. I mean, I couldn’t dig a hole by myself anyways. I had to go get a guy with a Bobcat to do it.

And then you had to when then whenever, like building it all and then you had to wait until the weather warmed up so that we just seal the what, and it was just, it’s a timeline that only God could write. Like there’s no way, like everything that happened down to them, the minute that the minutes that he was outside every day, they just all added up and then Felicia and on that day. And I don’t see how you could not see God’s timing in that. Like, there’s just no way. There’s no way that was a coincidence. There’s no way.

Michelle: Yeah, no, we’ve we experienced something similar with our own daughter, the same kind of perfect timing. Something had to be revealed and sealed and redeemed. And then almost immediately after we conceived, there was purpose in that a level of purpose. We can’t even articulate, but it’s this really amazing thing that as you were saying, explaining the different things, like you had to get the foundational beams in before the soil froze over. And that goes back to the same analogy that it could be a sermon about. You need the word in you before the hard time comes and then that you had to wait for it to warm up before you sealed it. And how often is it that we don’t feel battle-tested until we’ve healed, but then once we’ve healed, once we’ve warmed back up and defrosted our heart from whatever pain had happened, then he can seal it in us.

All those lessons learned are now sealed and preserved, and now they’re battle-tested and weathered for the next time we can’t write it. Like you said, we can not predict it, but the lessons he gives us are just so rich. And multi-layer just like the Bible itself is you had to actually go and get somebody to dig into that, into that hard ground. And that’s what we have to do with Jesus. I mean, you think about them on the boat, you know, the disciples he’s sleeping, he’s resting. He’s Holy. They’re like, it’s good. You got me and they’re freaking out. And then, and then we go, they’re like, Jesus. Hello? Right, hello. Excuse me. I’m scared. I’m hurt. And He goes, I’m here. And any, and believe it or not. And so many storms, I know people who have gone through even my own storms and y’all storms, all of a sudden you find this peace and it, and it passes understanding like the normal person out there in the world who doesn’t have that relationship with Christ or doesn’t have, God would never understand the peace that settles in, on our, on our lives. Because we, that we realize the love, the love that he does have for each one of us.

What would each of you say to, to the person that’s just in the middle of the storm, whatever that storm is?

Megan Vaughn: Because those things were said to me, and I didn’t want to, but I think that’s even that alone understanding that there will be things that are said to you that, that are, that are set out of, out of love and comfort that you’re going to want to deny. You’re not going to want to hear it. You’re going to want to tell them, just, just leave me alone, let me curl up in a ball. And, you know, in the grand scheme of things like take that time, like you’re gonna, you’re gonna, you’re probably gonna need it, but, but don’t stay there. Understand that there, you know, we, we had such a great network of, of close friends and, and believers and, um, and, and my parents and just people too, after we got past the initial hurt and, and the, you know, wanting to be a recluse, um, be able to be open to those conversations, be able to be open to the, there will be positive that will come out of this.

Mitch: Like everybody’s is going to be different. How it’s going to, how each individual person’s going to be impacted will obviously be different. But, you know, I, I, we talk about this all the time and on every aspect of, of relationship from emotional to financial, whatever it is, God has always provided. Period. God has never not provided. And, and that, that’s what that’s probably what I lean on the most is knowing that God has never not provided for us. Um, and so, you know, from, from a, from the guy’s perspective, if, if there’s someone else going through that same situation, as you know, for, for your wife, that’s going through that, you know, you know that you’re not going to be able to emotionally fix anything. It’s a level of something that we cannot touch. Just accept that. But what she she’ll need more than anything is for you to just be there.

You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to try to fix anything for you to be present is what she’s going to need, period. And then at that point, you can, once you’ve gotten past that first intense moment, then you can figure out how you can actively do things to help with the emotional recovery and, and, and stay the course. It’s hard. We’ve, we’ve had, we’ve had some friends that have struggled with the same thing. And I straight up had to say, look, dude, you can’t do anything to solve it, period. But what you can do, or you can’t say anything, but what you can do is just sit there and be quiet and listen, and be the shoulder for her to cry on and pray with her, pray with her.

Shea: I love that. Taking it into the spiritual. I love the fact that that’s what you’re saying to people. Um, I actually, Megan came on real quick there, by the way. And she’s like, those are the things you don’t wanna hear. And you know what they are. Amen. No, trust me. It happens from the minute you start dating. And it’s like, when you get married, when you have kids, wait when you have the next kid and he’s like, okay, just stop all these weird questions or all these people trying to always help out. Right. And, but I think that what you hit on right there was beautiful because, and I know that this is a hard verse for a lot of people to understand, but we’re not fighting flesh and blood. We’re fighting principalities and where we win Wars and where we win battles like this season, right? Our worship is our worship. We win battles in our worship of God. However, that manifests itself. However, it presents itself. He will heal the brokenhearted. He has promised that to us, but we need to take it into the right light, into his light and look, be a husband that just sits there and loves and supports and praise because you want God to fix it. You don’t want to fix it because if God fix it, it’s permanent. If you fix it, who knows where it goes? I mean, it’s

Megan: Hard because when you asked that, I immediately thought to the things that I would say, and then it’s like, those things were said to me and I didn’t want to hear it. Like I knew deep down, but like, I think I just didn’t want to hear it. Um, that’s, that’s so hard. I think a lot of what I’ve learned is that this is it’s so common to miscarry. It’s so common and these women aren’t talking about it. Like they keep it all inside and they don’t share what they’re going through. And they, it feels, it feels very lonely. It feels like you’re the only one that this is happening to and nobody to possibly understand how you feel. And that’s just not true. And you just have to, you have to share. And I think once you open up and share, I have had so many women who have reached out to me and they’re like, I saw your story. I read your post or whatever. And it’s helped me so much.

And like just laying out how just sharing my hurt, helped them heal. And like, if I can just help one woman feel better about losing her baby, then it’s worth, then everything we went through is totally worth it. Just to help that one person. And it’s, it’s, it’s hard, but the, a lot of people don’t believe it. They don’t want to believe it like that. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. And going back to my verse, my life verse, I, I do find comfort in that. And I do believe that 100% and I can absolutely see, like sometimes you’ll never know the reason. Sometimes you won’t, maybe the reason isn’t supposed to be revealed to you. And if that was the case, then that’s okay too, because I know that he has perfect plans for me. And in our case, we were blessed enough to have that reason, I guess, maybe to our understanding up until this point revealed to us and who knows maybe in two years, then it’ll morph into something completely different. Um, but I can, I can at least see, like, I can see why it happened and I can see how it was, was used and is still being used for his glory.

Shea: Amen.

Michelle: Amen. People think that they have to stand tall. They have to have it all together to weather the storm believers. And the best thing I can ever say is to hold on to Jesus for dear life it and feel it. And it’s not going to feel pretty look pretty, but hold on because the storm then keeps moving and you are still where you were, but better for it. And it brings a testimony that helps others.

Mitch: Yeah.

Shea: That is the goal here. And that’s the goal of this podcast and this, the goal of, of sitting here with Mitch and Megan, because we want others to be able to hear their story. We want others to be able to identify in a way and say, you know what, I’m going through something, but man, I need to put Christ first. I need to put prayer first. Not everything is going to have an immediate answer. Right? Sure. And so when we go forward from here with their story, look, check them out. Um, go on Instagram, Michelle, Michelle drop these in the show notes, be encouraged by their story. Let their story just encourage you to move forward to, stand up, to, to allow God to do the work in your life. Because I think we all need that. We all need that. And we’ll give people a break. Y’all, don’t ask all the dumb questions, but, that’s me ended on that, that, that funny note. But, no, I, I, I thank you so much. Yes. Thank you so much, for even being willing to come on and share your story. Um, we really appreciate that.

Mitch: Had a good time. We’d definitely appreciate you guys.

Shea: Awesome. Awesome. So, hey guys, this is the end of our, our, our show. And I’m going to let Michelle just close it out with all those high speeds. Things that I could never repeat in my entire life. Go ahead.

Michelle: When you build it up like that. Oh my God. Okay. No, this has been awesome. And just thank you again for everyone who wants to check out their story. You can visit them at VaughnHouseGreenhouse on Instagram, as well as vaughn-house.com V a U G H a N. Comment, like, share, subscribe, rate—all the things that help us spread the word to more and more people. And of course, we love to hear your prayer requests. You can support us with awesome season three merch and more at thepantrypodcast.com as well as @ThePantryPodcast on Instagram and Facebook. Until next time.

Shea: Bye.