Christ-centered marriage // S05E09 (EPISODE 64)
Four years of marriage later, lessons, love, and most importantly to be transformed in God is not an easy feat. BUT when you hand it to God and walk hand in hand know that to flourish in Christ is inevitable. No matter where you are; married or not, this message is for you! Know that there is time to seek God in your current relationship or to trust in Him to deliver you to the person/relationship for you at His time. Be fervent in prayer, in faith, and ultimately, trust that He knows what is best.
QUESTIONS WE TOUCH ON IN THIS EPISODE:
- Are you praying for your marriage?
- Are you the person your relationship needs?
- Do you include God in your marriage?
VERSES FROM A GOOD THING:
Jeremiah 30:17, Proverbs 12, Galatians 5:13, James 2.
QUOTES FROM A GOOD THING:
“What do you need in your pantry to survive the battle? To bring others along and be nourished. What’s attacking you, knowing what is coming against you and not thinking it’s a harmless thing, knowing what’s coming against you, that’s important to have in the pantry.”
Michelle Watson, The Pantry Podcast, A Good Thing, S05E09.
“I learned in relationships is to focus on yourself and be prayerful about the risk. Now I’m not saying that we don’t have a discussion, but it can be prayerful responses instead of actual responses. I pray more about it than I talk about it.”
Shea Watson, The Pantry Podcast, A Good Thing, S05E09.
ANNOTATED TRANSCRIPT
Michelle: Is your marriage, religious or relational, regardless of relationship status. Do you want marriage? The experiences victory, even in trials, do you want to leave the weight of expectation and bitter residues behind.
Shea: This week, we celebrate four years married and we’re getting real open with the struggles we have and how God uses our marriage to mold us.
Shea: Hi I’m Shea
Michelle: And I’m Michelle,
Shea: There is a battle being waged. It’s not flesh, it’s not blood, it’s spiritual, and we need to be prepared. The last thing a warrior wants on the battlefield is spiritual anemia. So when the enemy attacks, we need to be prepared,
Michelle: I don’t always realize where the attacks are coming from or that we’re being attacked at all. This is The Pantry Podcast, and we’re here to remind you of who we answer to what we’re capable of and how we are called to do it in every aspect of our lives.
Shea: Season five and naturally flourished. We are gearing up where season four, left off looking at God’s unusual, amazing miraculous methods of elevating relocating, and redeeming us into his purpose in ways the world cannot access,
Michelle: Support our ministry, reaching the lost and found in over 35 countries with spiritual and literal nutrition, every one-time and recurring donation makes a lasting impact donate through Patreon or the pantrypodcast.com.
Shea: And now let’s dig into the meal.
Shea: Hi, I’m excited.
Shea: All right. Woo. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. And of course, I see Michelle with the Proverbs out.
Michelle: I got my proverbs book, the key to being a Proverbs 31 wife is to read a lot of Proverbs.
Shea: I want you to be an Isaiah wife.
Michelle: I want to be an Elijah wife where I just set fire to wet rocks all over the place.
Shea: The other day, someone said like, stop being a Proverbs, 31 wives, you need to be an Isaiah. And I, and I didn’t get the reference. I’m like, man, that must be like one of the verses where they’re just like slaying, you know, although I would be like, be a judge’s wife.
Michelle: Think about like, I was about to be like, think about being a Debra wife. Like if you were a Debra wife, then anytime your husband asked for help, you’d be like, well, I can go with you, the glory will go to a woman. Right, right.
Shea: Poor Brock, call it, call to go to feed it. And he’s just like, can you go with me, dude, the Lord had blessed it. Do you know what I’m saying? It’s like, you know, it kind of reminds me of what we’re going to talk about at night. What’s up everyone, by the way. All right, guys, this, by the way, this episode on marriage, we’re already starting off, honey. Come on. You’re always telling me this. That’s hilarious. Oh, you know, it is one thing to be married and it is another thing to do podcasts and be married. At the same time, It’s so awesome.
Michelle It’s another thing to do. Podcasts. Be married and be Merry.
Shea: The other night we won trivia. We didn’t miss one question.
Michelle: We won the Dunkin gift card yall.
Shea: She says, Mary. And I’m like, you mean like Jesus’ mama.
Michelle: Our brains are primed differently. It’s okay.
Shea: Welcome to our episodes. What’s the name of this one?
Michelle: A Good Thing: 4 Years Married in Christ
Shea: This is going to drop right around our marriage anniversary!
Shea: I’m thinking about marriage and I’m thinking about what it takes. I think sometimes we always like, you know, like, don’t do, don’t do, don’t do this, kinda got us last night in the Bible study. It’s like, yeah, there’s a lot of don’t do’s but what should we do? Like, and you know, I, I think about this and I’m like, okay, four years, you know, how much wisdom, you know, will I do I have compared to, to others, for us, I think really the wisest thing that we could do, and that would be to be dialed in and be equally yoked to Jesus. And I come at this point from a recovery point of view and, and you know, how we get through those moments when we don’t agree or, or when we have issues with one another or we struggle, you know?
Shea: And it’s like, well, okay, if I have nowhere to turn, then it’s like, I’m just in the struggle. If I turn in the quicker, I turned in the quicker I realigned my heart, my wicked heart, back to that pure heart that comes from Christ. Right. Then it’s like, it makes it so much easier. And I was looking at Ephesians five, which is a really cool verse. And it’s, and it’s actually, I don’t know if anyone’s ever associated this to marriage, I was like, this stands out. This stands out, look carefully, then how you walk? How are we walking in our marriage? Not as unwise, as wise. So am I seeking worldly advice? Where am I seeking spiritual advice? And one thing that we definitely know as we’re sitting here talking, because I mean, we’ve seen the history, we’ve seen the stats and the data and all these other, the enemy definitely does not like a home that is together.
Shea: Right. He likes a broken home. So I was, I kept reading this. It’s like, therefore do not be foolish, understand what the will of the Lord is in the word of God right now, you know, as we’ll read it, he’s put it on paper, pen, and ink, right. It’s there in front of us. It’s I could sit there, say, oh, well let’s just paint a pen and paper. When I think of that as inspired and I think of that is God’s words like how he wants us to live, how he wants us to succeed, how he wants us to make it through things and run the race and finish the race and just be these awesome, joyful people that, okay. I got to look anyway, it’s okay because I love this. I love what he brings. I love what, who he tells me that I am, look do, understand the will the Lord and do not get drunk with wine for that as the boundary, be filled with the spirit. In other words, don’t let the world fill you up with ugly, be filled with that beautiful life-giving spirit. Yeah.
Michelle: I have. So I have 87 bones, 87 bones to pick I have so many issues and it just keeps growing with how the world portrays marriage, husbands, and wives. And that goes deeper to how they portray men and women. And it jumps over here to how they portray fathers and mothers. And it just makes me, it grinds my gears as I’ll say. I want to, if you’re not married, that’s cool. Still listen, because that’s what I did when I was not married. And I did not realize the kind of dividends it would pay because I mean our whole show. It’s like, okay, what do you need in your pantry to survive the battle, right? And to bring others along and be nourished. And what’s attacking you, knowing what is coming against you and not thinking it’s just this harmless thing, knowing what’s coming against you, that’s important to have in the pantry, right? That awareness and media, like I’m someone who came from a media literacy, psychology marketing background, right? So the devil doesn’t like me because those are his favorite things to use in so many circumstances. The way that he paints marriage in the world, like if you were not brought up in the church by two godly parents that were modeling a godly marriage, then there’s a lot of stuff that’s been ingrained in. You. You don’t even realize it’s wrong. Like men are the punchline of so many jokes. It’s like, they’re the only safe group that’s allowed to be made fun of. Everyone can just say, Hey, I’m the underdog. So, you know, it’s their turn. No, from a God perspective, men are the head of the house. From God’s perspective, Adam was made first. That makes me no less than that makes me no less important to God, no less useful to God.
Michelle: Punchline of every joke, only safe crew to be made fun of the husband is the one that’s made out to be a doofus and shows. And the wife is the, know it, all that pits us against each other. Men are from Mars, women from Venus. No, we’re both from the garden and through the Bible, we can find unity. And so there’s so much coming against us from the time where all of the womb, the world putting stuff on us, that it doesn’t just beat up the other team. If you’re, if you’re the wife, you know, team husband, if you’re the husband team, why it’s not just about that, it’s, it’s what it does to each individual. It does something to you too. It hurts me when I hear and witness in Christian media, how often the man is incompetent incapable, blundering, ignorant, you know, unable to hold the fort down.
Michelle: If the, if the mom goes to the grocery store, unable to put a good plan together without the, without the wife, because that’s not reality. And we’re, and we’re actually underselling men and convincing them, oh, well, if the wife has a cover, then I can just sit back because we also have the worldly part of ourselves that does want to relax more than we should. Right. You know, and, and, and do less than we can. Do you know? And it’s a beautiful thing in the last four years because I was privy to that before coming to Christ, I was like, this is annoying. That dudes are always dumb. Like, I don’t want a dumb husband. I want to in con like, I want a guy who can build me a house and keep us alive in the forest, you know, like, and then I found you so praise God.
Michelle: But, that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want a single of these dudes, you know? And, and so when you look to the word of God and you see what God says about what a husband should be, what a wife should be, what a man, what a woman should be. I’m free by it. Cause I don’t look at it as a checkbox, because like you said, if you focus on the relationship with God, first, these things start correcting themselves. And in our marriage, I’ve just seen time and time again, how I, I tend to be the cheese that stands alone in a group of women when I can, when I, when I just don’t think I need to be there for things to go. Right. And there are so many layers to that, it starts in my mind, in my heart where I’m just like, I trust God to lead my husband.
Michelle: And I trust that even if he does mess up, even if I mess up, God has a solution. And that has carried us so far, at least on my side, it’s carried us so far because I don’t undersell or undervalue you. And I don’t have so much weight on me. Like it’s all up to me. If, if my brains aren’t a part of it. If my decision doesn’t make the cut, we’re going to fall apart. Like that’s terrifying pressure. And I don’t have either of that, you know? And I love the freedom that has come with that.
Shea: On my side, on the men’s side, I have walked into churches where it does look like the spiritual leading is happening through the women, right? Like they’re there. And it’s like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s going on here. See for there. Sometimes, you know, we’re hearing this, we’re hearing this land base in this beat down and all this stuff. And I’m not saying that it’s a hundred percent warranted, I’m saying there’s some truth in there too. You know, and everything. There’s a little bit of truth. It’s like a chicken, I don’t want to sit there on these things too long. Because then again, we get into that same thing on what not to do and you know, it takes me back. And it’s cool. We got to bring these up. We got to talk about this stuff, man.
Shea: Get on fire, have a relationship with Jesus. I mean, look, there is nothing better than the fire that comes through the holy spirit. Cause man, now you are connected to Jesus and you are hearing what wants you to hear? And that is beautiful, = I’m telling you, I don’t know before Jesus, that I would be lost y’all I was one of those dudes, not in conflict though, man. I still build houses and I still can take care of somebody in the forest. As far as emotional and relational and really knowing the love and the care and all this stuff that God provides, right. That God instills in us that he made us be. I had nothing. I had none of that, you know what? It was cool. Cause you know, we’re sitting here and I brought the visions five, right. And we’re going to kind of walk it that a little bit.
Shea: We’re gonna look at that. Cause I think it’s important to understand, you know what I said, carefully, look carefully, look carefully. Then how you walk in other words, be aware. So there say, hold up, is my mind aligned? Is it right? Am I not? Am I not in the right frame? And when I say the right frame, I’m talking about a holy spirit. Jesus Christ God, the father perspective, not as unwise, as wise. See, and when you start to understand that wisdom, it carries you down to a verse like Jeremiah 30:17, where it says for, I will restore health to you. See everybody sometimes breaks us down as some physical health, spiritual health. Let’s think about this now in a moment for spiritual health, right? And your wounds, I will heal. How many reactions do we have come from a wound? How many?
Shea: My life and my, and my lessons have been, oh, okay, this isn’t the same. This is different. I’m in a, I’m on a different day. I’m not back there. I’m right here. And so on being healed, right? I’m being restored. See this, that wisdom. This is that knowledge. Knowing the walk, understanding of where your steps are going, are they my steps? Or am I following the steps of righteousness, which is the Lord? And I think that when we sit there that that verse continues on, right? And it says declares the Lord. So you see, this is the Lord declaring this. He’s saying, look, your yield, look your yield. I’m restoring you to health, to the possibility of the garden. And that’s a bold statement. I mean, honestly, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a goal. It’s a goal, I don’t get caught up in that goal.
Speaker 1 00:13:51 And I don’t get beat down in that goal. It’s like one of those things I want to be able to apply integrates, it’s the forgiveness, it’s the mercy. That is a goal. Why do we not? Why would we want to just say, well, I’m good and I’m okay? And I move forward and I want to get better. And the end, he constantly can fix me on this. You know, I think that some people I’ve been hearing it lately, you know, different platforms and stuff. People have been beaten up by the church and they sit there and talk about how all the churches talk about is sin, sin, sin. It could either be that they’re really doing that. Or we’re just so convicted or so good or in our minds condemned that that’s what we’re hearing. God has healed and restored us because we believe in his son, you know, I love prophets. She loves it.
Michelle: I love it. I’m holding a book. It’s the alabaster Proverbs book. It’s like the Bible just prophets. And how many times the word wisdom is in that book applied in so many ways and what it says, you know what God does for the wise, how to get wisdom. And in Proverbs 12, it starts to learn. You must love discipline. It is stupid to correct. And I’m one of those people. I’m a little hard. I have to try to be soft unless I’m looking you in the eye. If I’m looking you in the eye can be soft. When I’m just talking to the world, I get a little tough. I’m like that with myself and you would be stupid to hate correction and to avoid it, you know, I’m like, yeah, you know, I won’t be stupid. You know, like that is stupid.
Michelle: I’m not going to be stupid. And, and I think that that’s one of the biggest things with you that I have gleaned so much is just like how many times in a marriage, there’s a chance to eat humble pie, like so many opportunities. And if you refuse to eat that pie, it’s going to just serve up more opportunities to eat the pie. You’re just going to get more and more agitated. Cause you’re like, stop offering me this pie. If you just start eating it, it’s going to, it’s going to happen less, you’ll be humble, you just won’t have to eat that pie as much. Because I think the more we just don’t want to say swallow it and push it down. The more you kind of realize the real priorities, the less certain things bother you. And I know that we’re so far away from reaching that point. Like, like I’m curious because we’re on podcasts, let’s be real. Like, let’s get into something relatable for marriage instead of staying at the 10,000-foot level. Like what of all the things I do wrong, right? Let’s just see all the things that I do wrong. What type of things are the hardest to bounce back quickly from yo
Shea: She didn’t say she going to be interviewing me tonight. I liked that. I liked those questions. There’s there are so many those kidding. Okay. The struggle is always prideful. Yeah. I mean the struggle is always prideful. Marriages have this tendency to be the hardest I could give so much grace like outside of the home. It’s amazing how I can just roll it. It’s like a rocket it’s I’m like, I’m like, yeah, look at that man. Not like that. I’m just saying though, as it causes no when you have a comparison and you know, sometimes you have to sit there and be like, yo, I’m falling short over here and I need to improve it as I sit here and I delay so I can come up with a good, you know, I think the correction is always tough or actually here we go, here we go. Perfect example, let me plug that in.
Shea: Let me plug that in. And I’m like, I’m a biomedical engineering technician. I work on medical equipment for a living. I rewire things. I plug things in all the time. I do it. This is what goes through your head, by the way that it dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I’m like, and when I say something. Yeah. And how, since I’ve said something now I’ve made it atmospheric. And it’s like, and so those are the kinds of things. Like the things that I know I’m completely 100% capable of doing and you know, maybe age, maybe other plays a role. I don’t know, pride. I, I think I was bounced back practicing my, I look at his bride and it’s like, so, you know, just being, let me do this, I’ve got this, you know, when you’re in the middle of trying to do it, let me take over. Right. And so those are the hardest ones, at the same time, it’s like, does it matter? Does it really matter? How hard would it be to be okay? Just okay. Yeah.
Michelle: You know what that shows is that it’s so often not in every circumstance. Right. Can I say this so easily, in a lot of circumstances, it’s both something, God can work in me and in you like, it’s like, what am I doing? I can see what I’m doing wrong. Sometimes it’s like watching the car crash. You’re like, it’s happening. I can’t do anything, I see it, you know? And it’s like about that, then it’s also about the reaction. Like, God can work on your reactions to it, even though you’re so justifiably annoyed or offended or whatever it is. Right. And he can work with me. So I can’t like, it’s a, it’s a partnership even there. It’s not just, you wronged me, so fix it. Or so what get over it, you know, like, so often it’s like people thinking one or the other, it’s a game-changer to realize it’s like, oh, okay. I can get better at handling it in case it happens again. And you can get better at not doing it as often. Do you know? So
Shea: Am I supposed to ask you back now? Like whenever that is the most unknown thing I will say on that, just because we’re sitting there and how we address these things now I’m progressing. I am, I’m throwing this cause, it didn’t progress. Right. And we were talking about the other night, it’s like, you know, at the beginning and for years, cause this is just a recent thing that I’m really trying to work on this. It’s like, in the words, in a, in a negative tonight, it was just like, come on, man. I do this, I plug this in. See, and then I was like, and then there are times where it’s like, well that, wasn’t very nice saying that to somebody. Right. And it’s like, and it’s like, and I’m saying, and then I start getting convicted on that one too. It’s like what? You said something right.
Shea: Even. Yeah. Right. It’s like that. Wasn’t very nice. You know, it’s like, you’re pointing out something and what I’ve learned and, and believe it or not, I wish I could live by this, like a really, really dig in and live by this. Pray about it. Yeah. Like, take it. It’s called a servant’s heart. A servant’s heart becomes the demonstrator of the unseen. And so when someone sees that you are changing, right. And they’re like, what’s different now. What’s different. How is this different now? He’s not really responding the way that he used to respond. Wait, I read about this all the time. I hear about this all the time. This is where it’s supposed to go. I mean, I’m sitting here throwing out some hardcore, like, like dude, can we get it?
Michelle: I mean, it’s hardcore like mental development as much as it’s spiritual development because the spiritual manifest in the mind in ways we don’t know. And we, and we won’t tell heaven if we even know then. Cause I always go into like the synopses and stuff, it’s like with brain plasticity, your brain is always capable of transforming and shifting and all that. And so these are like deep chain reaction things we’re walking through. That might, you might have to listen to three times. What we’re saying is there’s a roadmap one that you don’t have to be conscious of just follow the GPS and don’t really pay attention to. Right. There is a roadmap that happens when you start to try to trust in him, start to try to live by it. The biggest thing is like GPS analogy. If you tried to add 60 stops on the way you’d, it would take forever to get to your destination, right?
Michelle: What are those 60 stops in this analogy? The blame game, the guilt of not getting a right. So if you’re trying to get, to be able to give grace within 60 seconds of a wrong, let’s say that’s the thing. Every time you fail, that’s a pit stop on the GPS that makes you have to lie pretty much, go back to square one, go back to the star. Or like he’ll, you know, it’s like, okay, grace is not the license to sin. It’s the license to get over it quickly. Not think you’re not worthy and just get moving. Like you don’t have to have that pit stop. You can just continue onto your destination.
Shea: I like that. You know, and really where I’m thinking of this, Galatians 5:13, where it says you’ve been given freedom and then it carries on and it says, don’t use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, through love, serve one another, that’s it? Yeah. And I like that, you know, that’s the freedom we are given honestly when God looks at, he’s not there marking out the GPS stops for us. He’s like blood, blood, blood. Oh, you’re on your way. Cool. Yeah. And, and it’s good to be on your way. And it takes me to James 2 where it says, you know, faith without works is dead. I mean, it is work hill is where I named one of the things that I get annoyed over notice I said that, that she annoys me with that. I get annoyed, annoyed over. I don’t know how I mean, I’m sure you have some too. Yes. Yeah. Probably as many as I have maybe because I mean, look, we can sit here on that GPS scale. Right? I love that analogy actually in this idea. And you could come back. I mean, I don’t care.
Shea: Otherwise if you wanna move on to another thought, we can hear something for me, the biggest thing. And it’s not just what you, although obviously, we live together, so it happens more between us. I fight the equality thing. Not like I can do everything you can do, like, if you have a problem when I do it, then I see you do it instead of my first thought, being healthy, he struggles with that too. It’s how dare he asked me to stop. And then he does it to me or how dare he? Not like it when I do it. And then he’s over there doing it, you know, like whatever. And I do it with everybody, right? And it’s like, it’s, there’s an opportunity for it to be unifying. We struggle in this together. We can be accountability partners since we can be prayer partners in this, I could give him grace because I empathize and understand.
Michelle: Cause I’m there too. Because the thing is just because you struggle with it too, doesn’t Rob you of the right to sharpen me in that area. Right? Like if we’re both killing people and both know it’s wrong, it’s not mature or fruitful for me to be like, you can’t tell me to stop killing people if you’re still killing people. Because if I listen and he’d a fellow murderer’s advice and I stopped killing people, I’m better for it. You might still be killing people, you did tell me the truth. Right? So what I, and, and that was a game-changer when I really sat in that for a while, I still struggle with it. I think that that’s the biggest thing that I stroke. Cause it eats at me like I might do a quick, like, like a layer of grace jelly on the bread, the mold of, of bitterness is in the point, you know, and I have to get, wait, wait, wait, was grace really applied?
Michelle: That’s my point. That’s my point. It was more like, I think that’s something that’s actually something like in marriage in any relationship if you’re just kind of painting it like whitewashed tombs, if you’re just kind of paint and grace on it, not letting it seep in then something still happening, you know? And so sometimes we do in our own strength forgiveness, right? That next time we’re reminded of it. We might not have gotten enough sleep last night. We might be stressed with five other things. And suddenly it bothers us again because we used ours in our own strength, forgiveness instead of God’s grace. Right? And I think when I was pregnant, I really realized how many different areas I had been thinking I had more together than I did out of my own strength because when my strength was taken when my hormones started getting all fluctuating in a whole new way, I was reacting again in old patterns and realized I was in my own strength. I had not allowed him to transform me. I was holding it together on my own. And that was a blessing too, in seventh being a discouragement, I was like, okay, well I finally realized Lord, now I can give it to you because I realize it wasn’t you who took it? I was just holding it down. And then finally, my strength wore out.
Shea: Isn’t it amazing how it’s easier to turn someone else over to God and not yourself. See, when
Michelle: We first, I used to argue so much, y’all like for like real artists, like I remember once I wrote this poor man that loves me an email that was like a blog post of my, what my problem was with him. Like, because of the fight. Cause I was like, I just can’t talk to you. So I just sat there and wrote it out like an essay so neurotic and it didn’t hit home because this brother’s like, this is so much, how am I supposed to like even navigate what? But it was then that I realized like, God can do this telling him I was like telling him what’s wrong with him. Ain’t gonna fix nothing is going to offend hurt feelings, drive a wedge between us. And what’s he supposed to do? How are you gonna, how, if we can’t do any of this on our own, so how I’m gonna be like, this is your problem.
Michelle: Go fix it. Now that I’m done with it, you know, like I can’t do that. When I started praying for things, I can tell you pretty much every, every single thing now, every single secret prayer have about something that was like a big deal for us. They’ve all been answered. Some took months, some took years. Some were just really weird, like one-day flips, but it wasn’t just in him. I always prayed. Let it be for let you fix in him what needs to be facing him and what needs to be fixed in me in this situation in me, you know? And so I became like a combo one, two punch,
Shea: Hey, a long time ago. One thing that I learned in relationships is to focus on yourself and be prayerful about the risk. Now I’m not saying that we don’t have a discussion. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have talks and say, okay, look, this bothered me or this, this went on because it’s honestly, we are too. We are twofold and have three-quarters right. And together we’re stronger. And in two or more together, praying really brings strength to it. And so it’s like, it’s good to talk about, you know, we’re not sitting there saying, just ignore it. here are, I mean, a lot of the things that we get annoyed over, let’s just be real unless it’s just something super serious. Let’s just put that aside for a minute. It can be prayerful responses instead of actual responses. I’m the same way I’ve found that prayer, if like something’s going on in our relationship. I, I pray more about it than I talk about it. Now, granted, my face might not show that because I do have an I’ll kill ya face.
Michelle: And then I’ll kill your voice even when he’s like wanting to like give you a bunny instead.
Shea: And here, here, takeaways, right? Takeaways, prayer. I’m telling you prayer seek wisdom. I mean, Proverbs, I love how they smacked you.
Michelle: And there’s 31 of them like that’s so perfect for a month.
Shea: It’s beautiful. And, the Bible really is the roadmap you can get rid of all of those GPS locations. You know, I’m kind of going through that season right now. As in myself, I can focus on every single thing that I see that’s wrong or I can take a step back and see the atmospheric battle that is going on. And then it’s just one thing that I, you know, it’s like one thing with some prayer points. It’s not like me sitting there trying to fix, understand, relate, or dig into it, I can just sit back and be like, okay, look, let me focus. Watch it. See people are saying, this is you do all you got, all we ever hear is what we’re doing wrong. I’ve heard this a lot lately. So I’m going to give you a response. It’s like the healing response, pour into God, pours into the sun, pour into the holy spirit, seeks the good things. Oh, that’s a first good thing. Watch if you’re seeking these good things, you’re going to be speaking these good things. Now we’re in one of our toughest seasons. I’m going to be admitted to, we’re actually not the toughest. The beginning was like, here’s a bonus. I’m like I laugh Libya. I don’t even remember that. I don’t really either.
Shea: In some, some, you know, puff ups stuff. I mean, I think that’s just getting to know one another. Then you kind of settle in. This season has been tough and, and no, not just COVID honestly, our ministries have just increased. Our workloads have increased, things and you know, we have a child, you know, it’s beautiful though. If we stepped back from it and you see what God’s doing and you know, there’s a stress of him trying to make deadlines and do this and do that and get this, this, you know, this, this class, written and set up. And, when you step back again, step back, look up, look up and just say, okay, God, I want to hear your counsel. And then dig in there, dig into his counsel, his word, his, his, his, his commandments. And I think that that’s good, that is a good takeaway here.
Shea: You know, don’t with what you’re saying, like all of these bus stops or, or the bus stops, or, oh, you say, you said a pit stop pit stops and you say, then you also use geographic locations. We might go back and I didn’t get any of this. Right. The point is, this is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. Is going to just roll you. Yes, it does. When
Michelle: I used to sit there and feel the conviction and take it as adding it to a to-do list of what I needed to fix, instead of what I needed to be prepared to surrender to God and be prepared for the journey he was going to take me on to heal that area. It dragged me so down at wasted, so much mental energy, I had moments where I just wanted to cry and it was just so chained. And so I think I finally understand at a new level, why that bumper sticker, it’s not a religion. It’s a relationship. It’s so key because if you take conviction as a to-do list of what you need to fix, you’re in the bondage of religion. But if you focus on it, I need to know my Lord better, my savior better. And I’m going to prioritize that. Then you’re following his wisdom. When he said that the two greatest commands are loving the Lord, your God, and then love your neighbor as yourself. Because then it’s that trifle that trifecta, where everyone, including yourself, that you’re engaging with is experiencing love. And the more I’ve focused on Christ, it’s like an exponential correlation between the rapid newness of my relationship with him growing. And the ability of me, my endurance across the board with anything that’s thrown at me, my bounce backs are much faster. My outbursts are much fewer, you know unless you have another. Now we, we
Michelle: Both have the seasons put a little bit more on my I’ve had to work a little harder, yeah, no, it’s been good. It’s been good. Our marriage is really flourishing in ways that we probably don’t even understand. And when I think what I want to leave people with now, I mean, we’re giving them just nonstop, you know, we do value people’s time. I think we could sit here and talk all night. Cause I mean, we just love to talk to each other when we get the opportunity. You know, we, we go back to scripture like iron sharpens iron, and we think about like, have, you know, your mindset on kingdom things, heavenly things. And you start thinking of the wisdom and they start thinking about how the word of God is living and active is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword.
Shea: It’s better that we’re being refined with a sharp sword than just two blunt objects hit each other. And so these cuts, right, these cuts are coming in, right? When these cuts are coming in, they’re not coming in from us. We have to understand that our worldly cuts on each other, leave scars that then have to be healed, right? That has to be addressed after you, whatever. If we step back and we allow that sharp sword to cut to bone and marrow, it’s not our sword it’s God’s word. And he is slaying us with his love and his mercy, his grace, and teaching us how to be servants, how to be humble, man, let me tell you something. I find iron sharpening iron easier outside the home than within the home. If you can dial it into having that iron sharpens iron within the home, not only are you going to be a nurse, you’re going to flourish.
Shea: There are GPS points. I mean, there is, I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s our human nature. It’s what we go through. Maybe it’s time to take that step back and stop looking at every GPS point that your spouse is doing wrong and just say, okay, God, how can I be? How can I be that person that this relationship needs? Let me tell you if you start doing that and your spouse starts doing that and you stop pointing the swords and slashing each other with your own merit, you’re going to heal. You’re going to feel the healing, that healing that has already happened. So look, go forward. May I seek God, take that step back and just let him do all the cutting. Let him do the cutting and you will flourish.
Michelle: Amen. Amen. I love talking to you and, yeah, we’re, we’re thankful for all of you. Thank you for sticking with us through all these major milestones in our lives. This is really cool. Check out the pantrypodcast.com to find out how you can join our kingdom commissary group. We are now doing our Bible studies. We call them life groups that we did for our church. We’re actually opening them up to everybody in the group. So if you want to join our Tuesday nightlife groups, the options are all in there and we’d love to have you. And I will also do a shameless plug. We want Shea to be on the top 50 dads list for podcasts magazine. So if you think that he should be on that list, glorifying the Lord, vote for him @podcastmagazine.com/dads. If you’re listening to this years in advance, it’s too late, if you’re listening right now, when we drop this episode, there’s still time. So until next time, bye-bye.
KEYWORDS: MARRIAGE. CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE. FAITH. RELATIONSHIPS. CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. PRAYER. BE FERVENT IN PRAYER. HOW TO HAVE A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.
